Meganne Grumbles tagged me weeks ago but I am just now getting around to this. Like Alicia, I think I will cheat a bit and not follow rule #3. Anyone I know with a site or a blog has been tagged or would not be the type of person to do this. So here it goes about me…….

Rules:
A. Post the Rules
B. Answer all the questions about yourself
C. After you are done posting, tag 5 people.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was a junior in high school and dating an RLDS guy of all things! He was a soccer player and a pianist for the choir. What a combination, right? I was interested in Nursing and was gearing up to apply for the Certified Nursing Assistant college program offered through my high school for my senior year. I didn’t really have a job, per se, but I worked in my high school bookstore during my lunch hour and occasionally after school.

2. 5 things on your To Do List today: Take the girls to JC Penney’s for portraits, buy some frames at Hobby Lobby and drop off a painting to get framed, laundry and various house chores, grocery shop at WalMart, prepare for and attend my Primary Presidency meeting tonight.

3. Snacks I enjoy: Sunflower seeds (but only ‘David’ brand), pistachios, red vines, sour straws, popcorn, Cool Ranch Doritos—-blah, nothing really healthy—I might have to change that!

4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire? Start college funds for my girls, put money into savings, buy 2 new cars, buy land and build my dream home, help family pay off debt, and travel.

5. 3 Bad Habits:

1. Only very close friends and family really see this side of me, but I have a potty mouth. No one would ever guess by looking at me but I can cuss with the best of them. It is definitely something I have been working on breaking.
2. I can’t sit still and leave well enough alone. There have been times when I should be sitting down enjoying my family or be doing something else more productive but I have to be cleaning something or working on a project. So basically, I do too much!
3. I buy candy almost every time I go grocery shopping. I tell myself I want to lose weight and I watch what I eat in some areas but I have such a weakness for candy!

6. 5 places I’ve lived: Houston, TX Phoenix, AZ Carrollton, TX Little Elm, TX

7. 5 Jobs I’ve had:High School Bookstore Assistant, Sales Rep. at Mervyn’s, Patient Rep. for CareNow Urgent Care on Medical side for one and a half years then Patient Rep. on Physical Therapy side for 3 years, and finally my most draining, difficult job yet—-a mother!

8. 5 things people don’t know about me:

1. I rarely have bare toenails. I love having my toenails painted no matter what time of the year it is. My 2 favorite colors to wear are red or fuscia. Even when I was 38 weeks pregnant with Sophia I was maneuvering around my big ol’ belly to get them painted because I was too stubborn to pay for a pedicure. Actually, I have never had a pedicure in my life…..
2. I have a biting fetish. I will not say more on this topic other than my dear friend Meganne understands.
3. I love to cook and am always on the lookout for new, yummy recipes.
4. I tend to drive a little on the fast side and have a minor road rage problem. BJ HATES driving with me because of what a grouch I am.
5. I am a bit of a diva at bedtime. I sleep with a white noise sound machine, a fluffy feather pillow, and a satin eye cover on my face to black out any extra light. I always put on my rose lip salve and body butter on my hands before turning out the lights. Hey, I might as well be sleeping AND moisturizing, right?!

Tags: e-mail forward,Heather,tag
Categories: Heather
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I received this e-mail from a friend of mine and rather than forwarding it on into the depths of spam filters everywhere I though I’d post it here.

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out…
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Tags: e-mail forward,family,funny,kids
Categories: Entertainment, Heather
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